The Success behind Great Leaders
A Leader’s Most Important Partner & Appointment
By Mark Faust

The weight of his hand on my shoulder said loud and clear he wanted to make sure I was listening intently. At the time, David Corrie was leading a 50 person team responsible for tens of millions in revenue for Northwestern Mutual. He led his team to the top echelon of offices around the country despite their being in one of the smaller markets.

He said, “Mark whenever anyone asks me about the most important leadership lesson I’ve learned in business, the answer takes me back to Tennessee over 30 years ago. I was almost ready to quit this business and struggling in every way. A mentor called the Colonel who is a legend in the industry, let alone our company, put his hand on my shoulder just like I am with you and said, ‘Dave, you need to do everything I just told you about managing your time, business and clients, but what I’m about to tell you is far more important. If you fail to do it, it won’t matter how successful you become in business.”

Dave went on to say, “The sternness in the mentor’s voice was piercing as he began, ‘Dave, if you lose touch with your spouse as the grasp on your career becomes firm, it’s all for naught. Not only will you feel unfulfilled, you will have lost out on your true potential in every facet of life.’”

I felt like it was the mentor talking as Dave went on. “Every Tuesday you will go on a date at 7 pm, and you will do it as faithfully as going to church on Sunday.”

Here are the rules of your newfound dating relationship:
1. Each week you will alternate who makes the plans
2. The plans for the evening are a surprise
3. You will keep the preset night, and it shouldn’t be a Friday or Saturday”

Dave went home to his wife and excitedly shared the advice the mentor had given him. Dave’s wife thought it was an excellent plan, but she especially lit up when he shared the Date Night plans. Dave said, “She hugged and kissed me and said, ‘Whatever you need to become successful and happy in your work, I’ll be there to help, and I’ll take the first turn of planning our initial Date Night since you’re so busy implementing the mentor’s plan,’ when I saw her smile I knew we had a new beginning.”

As soon as Dave implemented the new plan, things picked up, but one prospect in particular finally agreed to meet him, a prospect Dave called, “The prospect of a lifetime.” Dave’s voice quickened as he said, “Mark, this man was one of the wealthiest men in the state, his name is still recognizable to many around the country, and the deal he flirted with throwing my way would have meant an initial commission of well over $10,000, and in the sixties that was more than many earned in a year. Remember, I was practically starving so when he said that he’d like to meet me that next Tuesday at 7 pm, I nearly jumped through the phone!”

Dave went on, “I immediately called my wife to share the great news and she was sharing my excitement, but when I told her that I’d be meeting Mr. Big, Tuesday at 7pm, the phone line became very quiet. She was cordial, but I knew I was breaking a promise that I had just made.”

“After thinking about it, I decided to cancel the prospect of a lifetime and recommit to my lifetime partner. When I called Mr. Big, told him the details of how our Date Night worked, and that I didn’t want to break her heart just as we were starting, the phone went quiet for literally about 10 seconds. I knew he was going to think me an idiot for passing up on a great opportunity, but now I feared he would actually yell at me. Finally he said, ‘You know Dave, my wife and I have been having problems in this same area, and you’ve inspired me to recommit to her in the very same way. I promise you, in the next few weeks we are going to get together and no one else is going to get this business. Thank you.’ He actually thanked me for canceling the appointment, and not only did I get that deal, but it led to many others.”

By now you might be thinking, “What does this have to do with being a better leader?” Well, I thought the same thing until about the third or fourth leader told me a very similar story about the concept of Date Night being one of the most important concepts critical to their career and leadership success. It doesn’t matter if you’re married or not, every leader has a significant other, with whom they need to be spending regular time, giving and getting the exchange, which is the stuff of great leadership. Are you ready to call your significant other and recommit?